Rather than transcribing lived experience directly, I choose to make strange the almost-familiar. Why? Because we also need the ineffable.
An ex-chemist returns to her family farm. There, she breeds a crow the size of a horse. There is pain, and there are questions.
Bruce and Mina left in winter. This spring came and went like a sad song. It’s almost September. I’ve been spending a good deal of time alone with the crow. It’s been a summer of Solo. Solo and summer and me, the barn like an oven. Me and my black bird baked in a pie.
Solo hot. He says.
Yes, I say.
I have, of late, been finding it advisable to respond to my experiment.
DEFINED
To manufacture hunger I need
time and a stick and at the end
dangling like a fish from thread—
carrot. And the carrot withered
with a bitter beard. Hunger has come
when I would with the stick beat
my babysister for half that old man
carrot. The other half, the stick,
the thread, my own hand holding
its famine-machine a foot beyond
the other one: these bits I call art.
—I quit because I was good, and when you’re good and a girl at something, you should be suspicious.
—Of what?
—Of what part of yourself you didn’t know you were selling.